The new little fluorescent sticker was smiling at me from my notebook. A sense of pride was filling my heart as I leant to touch it and smiled within. I got this for my score in the just concluded test.
The new scheme of collecting this sticker for the performances in the school has caught everyone of us in a joust to claim superiority over the rest. They had promised gifts for those who outsmart the rest at the end of the year. The better you perform the more stickers you get more the chances of getting the gift.
It was really working well. We did our home works regularly. We tried hard to top in the tests. We were trying to do everything to have that teeny greeny face smile on our notebooks. Every now and then counting was going on. The leader identified was given a star treatment. They took pride in telling to people from other groups (there was a ' III A' and 'III B'. We bragged about it to seniors and juniors too) that they lead theirs. Lunch time breaks was spent entirely on discussing this with others. There were an array of thoughts and ideas on what the gift would be and who will get it.
First pages of all my notebooks had rows of those. I was there at the top in our class and very few people had as much as me. I couldn't wait to get my hands on the gift.
The D-Day had arrived. People in other classes were given the gifts - couple of maggi (noodles) packets (Huh.. Didn't they get a better one?). We were very excited and could hardly wait for it. I had already decided what I am going to have in the evening and was planning to surprise my mom.(Come on!! As 7 year olds we ought to get excited for every silly thing in the world). The hours were running and no signs of maggi. We were getting restless. And finally when our wait got over we were in the last hour of the day... the Hindi hour. Incame my hindi tutor with a bundle that we were waiting for eagerly all day.
As we were waiting eagerly for the packets to be distributed, she kept it at the corner of the hall and announced a surprise test. Uh no.. Am not that good in hindi. Some questions were dictated. Some answers were scribbled. My mind was fixed on the bunch of noodles, wondering how many I am going to get.
The answer sheets were collected and corrected. She started distributing the packs.. Heck!! She was giving them according to the marks they had scored in the test. I still believed that I will get it. I am leading the class. I deserve it. The people who were way behind me were getting it. I was avoiding the looks of my friends up there with their maggi. The bundle was getting smaller and smaller. My ears were waiting eagerly for the little name to be sounded.
The worst disappointment in life is not getting what you deserved. The little heart was about to be broken for the first time in its life. It had no idea that it was only preparing for bigger,worser - disappointments, rejections and more.
As the bundle became empty, my heart was full of a mixture of emotions - anger, disappointment and inability. My single day's performance has denied me what I had thoroughly deserved. How mean she was..
The bell rang. Class dispersed. I stood there stunned. When my classmate with a much lesser score came to me bragging at his pack and teasing me for not getting one, all he got was a big slap (I am a spoilt arrogant brat when I was a kid).
I could hardly hide my tears. I broke and ran down the floor, hugged my mom waiting outside the school. She tried every bit to console me. I didn't stop. Even a dozen maggi wouldn't have mended the broken heart.
Next year when I was given the option to pick my second language, I preferred Tamil just not to attend her classes. And I preferred not to listen the occassional science classes she took. Even today I remember her face and the entire incident. She was the first one to teach me what disappointment is all about. She will be remembered forever for reasons that even she wouldn't like.
But yes.. she had given me good lessons on life. And she had helped me uncover one among the several layers within me that I retain even today- (I leave it to you to identify).
